


Anomaly

by Taijitu



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Songfic, With A Twist, wait no come back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 12:41:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24969883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taijitu/pseuds/Taijitu
Summary: A spirit emerges with music and secrets. Cole says they want to help. And they do. Sort of. But Solas isn’t positive they *are* a spirit. And the secrets buried in their lost memories get more and more sinister.But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you’ve been here before?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Anomaly

**Author's Note:**

> So I heard OCs are legal in fandom again and decided to start this idea I got. But I wanna really try to make it good and interesting. Idk if I’ll finish it though because I’ve asked almost everyone I know and NO ONE IS GIVING ME ANY FEEDBACK. So we’ll see. PLEASE leave some kind of comment with some kind of critique, be it positive or negative. Because if it turns out I was wrong and this isn’t as good as I thought then I might not bother.

Blurs of black and ash, smell of corpses burning around me. I can’t save them now. It was never meant to be, despite my efforts.

I mustn’t stay, the hole is growing. I’ll die if I stay. So I run, bare-footed and barren, rocks and rifts biting my feet.

_Run like a rebel, run like a rebel._

I hear the rhythm in my chest, throb in my ears, a mantra I don’t recognize or try to. But it’s message is clear. I obey.

_Run like a rebel, run like a rebel._

Snow crunches as I run. I see faces that don’t see me. I slither past them. It’s not my time yet. They have to survive, I have to flee.

_Shake off the devil, shake off the devil._

I need to flee but why, I don’t know. There’s a lot I don’t know, come to think of it. What happened here? Why are these structures falling? Why are armies marching? Why are people dying?

I cannot will the damage away. It doesn’t move. It doesn’t listen. The realness of it makes me feel cold. This place isn’t home.

What _was_ home? Not this. It’s familiarity is still foreign. And it needs to stop. I need to get away from it. It’s too much. People are dying and there’s nothing I can do and I need to get away.

_Run like a rebel! Run like a rebel!_

The soldier is escorting a mercenary through the snow. He has a Fissure on his hand. He will be okay. But I don’t know what that means.

Away from the burning and the snow, away from the armies of people. Away, away, away. It’s called Haven. It is no haven to me. I must go where the air is warm, and the color is rich. Someplace I can think. Away from these whispers and rifts. These old, confused pains.

“They’re falling from the Breach!”

Poor soul. It didn’t want this. I hope it forgets the pain.

I have no time to mourn. I must get away, and think. Recover. Plan.

... To what end? What is my goal? Why am I here? Maybe I’ll find those answers later.

Tomorrow’s another day, but for now it’s time to run.

* * *

Hinterlands, it’s called.

Peaceful. Easy on the heart. I can rest here. There are cottages, empty. The songs here are comforting, the voices lulling me to slumber. To peek back into the Fade.

_There’s nowhere I’d rather be. Never felt more comfortable, could never want for more when I’m here._

I don’t know these voices, these songs, but they seem to know me. They come and find me wherever I am in this Real World. They seem to know things, the songs. So I listen. I wonder if it’s the Fade speaking to me?

I’m here for a long time. Days. Weeks. I familiarize the objects here. The wood remembers when it was more than wood, and the metal remembers when it was warm in the earth. Such ancient things. I wish I could talk to them.

Then something changes. People come through here, and I remember them. They don’t remember me, but that’s good.

“Stand ready, Herald. This is a demon!”

“This one looks different from the demons in the rifts, Cassandra. And it’s not attacking. Maybe it’s lost?”

The woman with the shield holds a song of righteousness in her heart. She is the warrior who learned to love the pain. For the grace, for the might of the Maker, for the home of the holy.

The Herald, a thrumming war drum lost long ago. There is no voice, but the power beats like his heart all the same. Adaar. He stands with his Fissure like a wall of stone, ready to protect and decimate. But I don’t fear him. His hands are not callous.

“Demons are adept at changing their appearance, my dear. Best we kill it now before it tries to manipulate us.”

The woman in silvers and whites is fearsome, strong. Wisps calling to her, they want to make her their queen. She makes me feel like I could be a tower... I kneel to her.

“They don’t want to hurt us. They’re whispering, wanting, waiting for the music that means more than their own. I’m Cole. Do you have a name?”

Him... he’s not like the others. He’s like me. I can hear his voice in both worlds. Like and anchor tied to my brain.

“Yes. I am more here than I used to be, but I am me.”

“Is it communicating with you, Cole?” Cassandra asked.

“Oh don’t engage it,” Vivienne muttered.

“Yes... n-no. They want to talk, but the words aren’t working. They’re lost. We should help.”

“What can we do?” Adaar faced them both fully. “Did they come from the Breach?”

“Not likely,” Cassandra said. “Demons from the rifts have no form like this one. This demon looks like Cole.”

“They don’t look like me.”

“I meant that it is more human in appearance.”

“Oh.”

Adaar is looking at me. Intrigued. What is he thinking?

“What kind of a spirit are you?” He asks.

I...

...

“They can’t remember.” Cole says.

Did I ever know?

“Every spirit has a purpose,” Adaar explains. “Cole, for instance, is a spirit of Compassion. He helps people. Most spirits from the rifts are too overwhelmed by this world and they become things like Rage or Terror.”

They are what they feel. What do I feel?

Cole looks sad.

“Well this is all very interesting,” Vivienne finally speaks. “But we really should be getting back to the bandits on the road, yes? Better for commerce, safer for travel.”

“I must agree,” Cassandra says.

Cole looks back at them pleadingly.

Adaar concedes, but puts a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “They’ll be here when we come back.”

He doesn’t look much happier, but doesn’t protest.

I reach out to him but he doesn’t see me, and walks to the door to follow his allies.

I want to know him. His music is softer than the others, wavering and washing me away like waves breaking. I want to know him. He is kind and deadly, he could be anything in the world and he protects. He knows how to be more than what he is. Can he hear the songs? I _need_ to know him. Does he remember...?

Remember what?

They leave the cabin, and I’m alone again. The quiet is oppressive, strangling. Not like before, when it was a comfort. I cannot think once again. So I follow.

The woman in silvers looks back as they depart, her brow set and stern. She sees me, and she does not want me to follow.

I hide as I follow. I watch, from the grass and the pines, from the water.

Cole knows. He doesn’t say as much. He sees me when he passes and smiles. I smile too.

It’s like...

A fortress ahead, bandits and mercenaries. They come in groups. Adaar readies his sword, Cassandra raises her shield, Vivienne brings sparks from her staff, and Cole unsheathes his daggers.

I slip into the shadows. I cannot fight. Do not. Cannot?

But they do. Rancorous symphonies, metal on flesh and leather. A battle with honor, but not humanity. It’s beautiful, but it comes delayed. I close my eyes and the glory fades. Blood. Burnt skin. Death.

Adaar is victorious, and his allies alive. Cole wipes a dagger clean on one of the fallen’s clothes before sheathing it.

They are brave to fight. I will follow.

“This must be the fortress those bandits spoke of,” Cassandra says.

“What do you say we throw them a proper housewarming party, my dear?” Vivienne cocks her head towards Adaar with a smirk.

What does that mean?

“My thoughts exactly, Madame,” He quips back, his smirk one with purpose.

“Why do we want to warm the house?” Cole asks, quietly. I must wonder, too. “It isn’t even a house.”

As they approach the gaping entrance, a warrior in heavy armor stands with a massive war hammer. Both Cassandra and Adaar hurl chained hooks at them, but not before Vivienne tears open a wall of flames for the bandit to fly through as they’re hauled out the entrance.

Ah. That’s what she meant by housewarming party.

Doesn’t sound like that bandit is having a fun time though. Even less so with daggers in their neck.

They move through the fortress, felling all in their path. I stay back, I hide. They are all beautiful to watch. I wish I could know them.

Cassandra slams her shield into one man’s jaw and he drops like a stringless puppet. Her eyes are full with determination, tempered for the fight. To a brother long lost, it is her duty, her dedication. Her art.

Vivienne spears the ground with her staff and ice flares up around her, like ripples in the sea, catching the bandits frozen before they catch her. There is dignity in her posture, pride in her power. She has fought demons and men in their respective battlefields, she has earned this. A victory for herself _and_ for the Inquisition.

Cole ducks aside as maces swing up, stabs once, slides behind, punctures the weak points and blood flows like an opened cask. He doesn’t have to think to make them fall, the blades know what to do. No one will die by those hands again. Not like they once died by these.

I hear their music like history, but Adaar is unruly. The Fissure changes his song, makes him more than him. The Fade doesn’t like it, and yet it seems drawn to it. Captured, like a wild, braying thing, but it yields in peace. Like it knows this is what must be.

I want to know them.

Ascension, ladders and stairs. Balusts overlooking the plains, hold back dying trebuchets. Only wooden sculptures now, storage.

Cole sees something and readies his smoke. “The not-bandits’ leader. He wants what’s kept below. We should stop them.”

Adaar heeds him and reaches for his greatsword. “Up ahead?”

“Yes. He is not alone.”

“I do enjoy a challenge,” Vivienne purrs, and the Fade prickles at her fingertips.

Cassandra steps up by Adaar’s side, her shield ready. “On your signal, Herald.”

Adaar nods. As they approach the arches of stone, a maze of boxes and openings, the bandits are visible. The leader is the biggest, their armor the thickest, their weapon the mightiest. Formidable indeed. But Adaar is not shaken.

“Cassandra, you keep the big guys focus on you and don’t let him have an inch. I’ll rally his others to me. Cole, help Cassandra with the big guy. Find his blind spot and make him fumble before he can land a heavy blow. Madame, you and I can fell the handful together.”

“Understood.”

“Loud and clear, my dear.”

“Daggers from the dark slip past the hammer, one, two, feint, one, two.”

“Alright let’s go!”

And they charge.

I’m enraptured by their casual finesse. Just as he planned it, Cassandra commands the battlefield in the Leader’s gaze with a heart-clenching battle cry. Adaar roars with sword brandished, daring his opposition to come forth. And they do. The armored mercenaries, the not-bandits, rush Adaar right through the sigil Vivienne places before him, lighting them ablaze. Cole leaps past the fray to behind the Leader, catching his ankle before he can wind up for a blow that surely would have knocked Cassandra off her feet.

A valiant open, a strong advantage, their surprise attack.

But there are more mercenaries.

More than they - we - saw initially. They underestimated the numbers. I see it before Adaar realizes it, and everything feels heavy.

Vivienne throws up a barrier on Adaar and Cole, and chooses Cassandra over herself. A rogue merc appears behind, gets the drop on her and slashes, crippling her wielding arm. Adaar hears her cry of pain and grapples the rogue but the damage is done. The barrier offers him some protection but he is overrun, and Vivienne cannot properly crowd control without her dominant hand. Cole sees the plan has gone awry, debates whether he should stick to it or help them, and he almost misses the feint to keep Cassandra standing. Adaar swings his greatsword but they’ve managed to catch his weaker arm in a blade vice. The rogues again. Adaar is also down an arm. Vivienne turns to frost and smoke, surges forward through the opposition, and it slows them down for a moment, but Adaar cannot gain the upper hand without both of his. The sword swings softer now. He shouts for backup, and Cole at last moves. A surging strike at the mercenary rogue incapacitates him. Vivienne summons forth lightning and it jumps between the bandits, but they still stand. Adaar tries to charge them, knock them down, which he does, and Cole begins to pick one apart, until Cassandra is struck off her feet with a shout. The Leader now moves for the nearest target. Adaar puts himself between the Leader and Cole, but he can only block so well with one arm, and two sweeping strikes with the war hammer sends him to his knees. Cassandra gets back to her feet in time to see him fall, and bashes the Leader with her shield before he can attack Vivienne. Cole moves to resuscitate Adaar, but one of the mercenaries catches his heels with a blade and he chokes on a cry. Vivienne throws a barrier on him before any more damage can be done, and strikes the Leader with lightning as she makes her way to Adaar. But the Leader sees it. He winds up and heaves the war hammer with all his might in a complete circle, into both Cassandra and Vivienne, knocking them both unconscious. Cole shouts and reaches out to them, but the mercenaries slam him to the ground with them, and hammer his head against the stone once, knocking him out cold.

And.... it’s over.

The mercenaries cheer and bellyache over the damage, start chatting about what to do with this lot.

It’s over. And... they lost.

The Leader gestures at Cassandra’s body with intent. Nudges Cole’s face with his foot. One of the mercenaries holds up Adaar’s hand. Another takes off Vivienne’s hat to examine.

This isn’t right. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. They aren’t supposed to lose. If they lose.... what are these men going to do with them?

And then they start dragging the bodies.

_bodies_

~~how many bodies will pile up around y~~

I emerge.

Arms spread and eyes wide with fear because I act before I think and I decide before I act. There was no thought.

The mercenaries see me.

They stop dead.

The Leader stops dead.

Everything is, for a second, quiet,

What do I do now?

The Fade offers to me all it ever has; music. But music cannot help me here.

....

I see Cole twitch.

And I think maybe, perhaps, music _can_ help me here.

So I sing the song offered to me by the Fade.

“ _Ladies and gentleman please!!_ “

I screech and they flinch, some recoil. I continue.

“ _Would you bring your attention to me!!_ “

I’ve never used this voice before. Is it mine? Not a good one. Best change that. The mercenaries begin reaching again for their weapons.

Vivienne stirs.

I am afraid.

“ _For a feast for your eyes to see!!_ “

One raises their bow and knocks an arrow.

The Leader bares his war hammer. “Run home, little girl.”

I don’t have a home to run to.

“ _An explosion of catastrophe!!_ “

The mercenary draws the arrow, aimed at me. All the mercenaries are aimed at me.

Vivienne moves her arm out from under her body. I notice it. No one else does.

I am staring at the arrow aimed at me, and I am afraid. But if I run, they will notice Vivienne. So I stay.

“ _Like.... n-nothing you’ve ever seen before!_ “

The mercenary glances over at the Leader, the Leader looks back.

“ _Watch closely as I open this door! Your jaws will be on the floor!!_ “

Vivienne’s fingertips spark, and her eyes are open.

The Leader nods.

“ _After this you’ll be begging for more!_ “

The air splits as a massive lightning bolt cracks the stone, sending the men flying back and jolting as their armor thrums with aftershocks.

I almost cry.

Vivienne pulls herself to Cole and pats his cheeks. “Come now, demon, rise and shine with us. Best to not stick around, yes? Smoke and shadows ready.”

Cole groans, rolls his head aside but moves more. “It hurts...”

Vivienne moves to Adaar next. Cole manages to get to Cassandra.

They rouse, but the aftershocks of the blast are wearing off. And the mercenaries aren’t all out cold.

I want to tell them that they have to hurry, but they surely know that. What more can I do?

I stand before the waking mercenary, looming over him. I ball my fists.

I can hear them getting to their feet, the four. The mercenary doesn’t know what to make of me.

Cole throws a cloud of smoke up around them all, and like that, they vanish together. The mercenaries jolt awake and alive, coughing and angry that their attackers are, against the odds, escaping.

I follow, whispering what only he, I hope, will hear.

_They’re trying to catch you. They’re dying to stop you. Run Cole, run. Running is a victory. Now disappear in the trees._

* * *

Camp. A home away from home, where wounds can heal and eyes can close. A fire crackles under a pot, water and cloth boil. Adaar uses a stick to stir. With his uninjured arm.

Cassandra and Cole lay side by side, reversed. She with a wet burlap bag on her stomach, and he with a wet burlap bag on his head and thick wrappings on his elevated ankles. Vivienne sits at the fire with Adaar, hand encased in more of her Fade-touched ice, held at her side. Bandages encase her dominant arm.

No one speaks.

I watch from the trees. They are aching, but alive. For now that’s enough.

Their songs are slower, rhythmic. Cassandra doesn’t want to rest, but her injury makes breathing hurt. Cole doesn’t need to lay down, but he can feel Cassandra’s frustration and he doesn’t want her to feel alone. Vivienne refuses to show weakness, and wants to aid Adaar so his own injuries don’t worsen.

Their wounds will heal, their scars, they’ll feel and remember why they’re alive.

My gaze falls upon Cole again. His eyes are closed under all that hair in his face. Like white moss and wheat fields. I remember how the mercenary grabbed that hair, used it to hurt him. How he became dead weight. It makes me tighten inside to think about.

If he can succumb to this place, can I?

Adaar lifts the stick from the pot, a bandage hanging off it. “Here we are Madame.”

“Allow me, my dear.” She removes the ice, takes the scorching cloth in both hands, and sets it over the gash in his arm. He hisses, but it’s good.

“That was supposed to be for you.”

“I know, dear.”

She wraps the cloth once and ties it off, then takes the stick from him and stirs.

“Madame...”

She chuckles. “Your worry is touching, truly. I’ve received worse injuries fighting Duchess Yvette over the last in-season henin in Val Royeaux. No need for a fuss.”

He sighs. Then, he smiles. “Y’know, you’ve surprised me at almost every turn, Madame.”

“Did you think I would confine myself to the safety of Skyhold, handling finances and diplomacies alongside our beloved Lady Montilyet, whilst you went along having all the fun?”

“At first? Not many Orlesian nobles would offer more, in my experience.”

“True. If only they all had the spit of our mutual friend, the Marquis.”

Adaar laughs outright, and Vivienne smiles to herself as she fishes another bandage from the water.

I feel as though I should not continue lurking. So I don’t. Out from the trees, out the shadows. Vivienne and Adaar have their backs turned, and Cassandra and Cole have closed their eyes.

I am to clear my throat, when Cole speaks.

“They want to speak.”

Adaar glances over his shoulder first. He sees me. I try to look unimposing, but how does one do such a thing? Beyond hunkering down.

Vivienne looks too, and her gaze darkens. I am an enemy in these waters, a shark circling prey, and she is a lone swimmer ready to lash out.

I wish she knew. Sharks don’t like to attack people. I only want to see what’s here.

“You’re the spirit from earlier?” Adaar asks. “How did you find us?”

“Hardly a stretch to assume it’s been following us,” Vivienne says. “I maintain my previous stance. Best not engage it.”

I don’t know what to say for a moment.

“I, wanted.... t-to, help... ttthhhere were, bandits...”

Vivienne blinks.

“You were there? With us?” Cassandra speaks up. “Why did you follow us!”

I try to make the words. “You fight... beautiful. I wanted, to... know you.”

”Envy.”

“No!” Too loud, shouldn’t have shouted. “Nnnot... to be! To... know. Only, know.”

Vivienne glances at Adaar, doubt in her pursed lips, and returns herself to stirring the pot of bandages. Appears uninvested. But even turned away, her attention remains fully on me.

Cole sits up with a grunt, holds the cold bag against his head.

Adaar looks to him and Cassandra, chancing a moment from me. “How are you two feeling?”

“Ugh,” Cassandra rolls her head aside. “I will be fine. This is not the worst I have endured. But I can still feel it.”

Cole squeezes his eyes shut. ”The world pulses, and the ground doesn’t stay still when I move... it hurts to wiggle my foot.”

“I’m... s-sorry...” I try again, but the words aren’t smooth like when they talk. It’s like pushing a cart through snow. Or maybe bread dough.

“Oh don’t be,” Cole smiles at me. “The aches mean we lived. Thank you for distracting the bandits.”

I can’t stop smiling.

Adaar cocks a brow.

Cassandra twists just enough to look aside at Cole. “Distracting...?”

“Yes. The bandits. We fell flat, faltered, but they stepped in and saved—“

“I saved us, actually,” Vivienne cuts him off without looking up. “Lightning of that caliber is quite risky, but we were in dire need of a smokescreen.”

I nod. “It was... l-... loud.”

“As lightning often is, yes.”

“She is lightning. Before the thunder.” I feel the voices of the Fade swirl around Vivienne. She is strong, and clever. These words come through easily.

She pauses her stirring. Of course. They do not hear the songs. She doesn’t know what I’m saying.

“Adaar,” Cassandra speaks again, and I hear pain in her breathing. “Should we continue to allow this spirit near us? We do not know its intentions.”

“Yes we do,” Cole insists.

“While I recognize this to be a personal decision for you, Cole, we cannot dismiss the potential threat from a demon we do not know or understand.”

“You wouldn’t say that if they were a human.” He presses the issue.

“Correct,” Vivienne interjects. “Humans can only hurt other humans so much.”

“But they want to _help._ “

“Alright, alright,” Adaar speaks and waves a hand. “Let’s not turn this into an argument.”

Perhaps I should have stayed hidden. They are all right. I want to help, but their fear comes from a valid place. Not of what I wish to, but of what I could, and how easily.

But Adaar, he beckons me closer with a wave.

I... I don’t move closer.

“It’s alright, we don’t want to hurt you. Here, you can sit by the fire if you like.”

Vivienne almost snorts.

I...

I feel like I shouldn’t

Why did I reveal myself to them? Was I hoping for recognition of my aid? An award? That they would take me under their wing like some shivering pup? Was I hoping for that? I don’t even know what I am.

My eyes close and I step back.

“Wait.”

I open my eyes. Cole sets his ice bag aside, tries to stand despite his Achilles heel and his concussion. He approaches, hobbling.

“You don’t remember your purpose, but I have a friend who can help. He goes to the Fade often. He _understands_ us.”

He offers me a hand. “The Herald wants to understand, too. They will listen if he tells them to let you stay.”

That title... it makes something flicker in the dark places I can’t reach. I feel my eyes blink and twitch in a way I don’t like. Shake it away. The twitch isn’t what I need.

Instead, my chest feels alive. I can see Cole up close, more details with this fellow spirit. He is handsome! I didn’t know spirits could _be_ handsome!

I take his hand.

And something happens.

A few things, in fact.

The first thing. The Fade swells around us, the Veil seems even to wane just slightly.

The second thing, I hear a song. It is louder than usual, and I can’t help but hum as I hear the voices sing.

The third thing...

Cole closes his eyes, raises his chin, and sings.

With the voices.

“ _Bring me some hope... by wandering into my life. Something to hold onto... morning noon day, or night._ “

I don’t know what to do. But then, I am excited! Because he can hear the songs too! And he _knows_ the songs!

How can I not sing with him?

“ _You are the light, that is blinding me!_ “ I shout, almost jumping. “ _You’re the anchor that I tie to my brain! ‘Cuz when it feels, like I’m lost at sea! You’re the song I sing again and again! All the time! All the time! I think of you all the time!_ “

Cole isn’t smiling though. Which makes me stop smiling.

Vivienne and Cassandra are looking at us fully. Adaar is rubbing his chin.

“How...?” Cole lets go of my hand, and the music fades quieter, like before.

I feel a disconnect and the Fade calming, physically. Like a string has been cut from my chest.

He blinks several times. “That... what was that? And... how did I know it?”

“It’s... Fade. You‘ve... h-heard it, beffffore... right?”

Cole warily shakes his head, though I think he regrets it because he squeezes his eyes shut in pain.

“I don’t remember it. It’s gone.”

“What was that, Cole? Has it done something to you?” Cassandra asks, on guard despite her position.

“N-no...?” He rubs his head. “I don’t feel different.”

Crestfallen. Maybe that’s the word. “Y-you... don’t... hear the m-m-music. Do you.”

He thinks a moment, looks at my hand. Then, he touches me again.

The Fade swells with the song. And his eyes light up.

“I remember the song again!” He says, and speaks the words this time. “Left those fools be loud, let alarms ring out, ‘cuz you cut through all the noise. Let the days be dark let me hate my work ‘cuz you—“

He takes his hand away from mine again.

“— cut thr-... thuh... ah. Gone.”

I blink. What sort of...?

“Interesting,” Vivienne mutters, and begins applying a bandage to her arm wound. “I don’t recall whether spirits can control other spirits, but if they can, would that not make this a more... _capable_ demon?”

“It wasn’t mind control,” Cole said back at her. “I only heard music.”

“Telepathic messages, then.”

“That’s not dangerous.”

“ _That_ is a matter of perspective, dear.”

Adaar beckons me closer again. “May I...?”

I glance at him, then at Cole. Cole smiles.

I look at Cassandra. She rolls her eyes and turns her head aside.

I look to Vivienne. She busies herself with her bandages. I do not exist to her.

... I step forward.

“Can you tell me what that was you did just now?” He asks, once I stand before him. “To Cole?”

I don’t know myself what it was. I’ve never touched anyone before. I don’t think. Have I? I try to say as much. The words hurt again.

Adaar nods with sympathy. “Can you try taking my hand?”

He holds his hand up. The one without the Fissure.

I... hesitate.

Another glance at Vivienne. She remains, supposedly, uninterested. But I know she is ready to act if she believes I will hurt anyone.

“What exactly are you doing, Inquisitor?” Cassandra asks.

“Trying to understand this spirit a little better.”

I raise my hand, and touch his palm.

The Fade pulses and ripples... but it doesn’t swell.

A beat of silence, and Adaar purses his lips. “Hmm.”

Abruptly, he swaps one hand for the other, the injured, the Fissure. And there’s a spark. A physical spark. It arcs and we jump.

Everyone snaps to attention.

He rubs his fingers together and chuckles. “That was something. Did you do that?”

I shake my head. I shake everything. I’m shaking all over. Can’t stay still, even though I try. Shivers. Fear. That shouldn’t have happened.

“I did hear something, other than the shock,” he says. “Do you want to try again?”

I do not.

He nods, understands, and smirks. “I agree with Cole. I’d like to hear what Solas makes of them.”

Cassandra nearly sits up. “You are not suggesting we allow another spirit inside the Inquisition!?”

“Not free reign of the place, no. But I do want to know why the mark responded to them like that. Maybe there’s something going on with it? Or maybe I’ve been fighting with this old thing,” he knocked on the handle of his greatsword, “when I could be offering hi-fives.”

I look at Vivienne. She hasn’t spoken. Adaar notices that, too.

“Thoughts, Madame?”

“You know my thoughts on the matter, dear. But it you choose to allow for this despite such, ensure that Solas does his upmost to keep it away from my loft, at the very least.”

Adaar snickers. “It will be done, Madame.”

Cassandra scoffs, finally sitting up fully with the ice held to her middle.

I’m going somewhere new. Meeting someone who wants to help me. Someone who can understand. Direction in the dizzying wasteland. This is good news. The best news. I have a purpose.

I look back at Cole, and he is looking at his hand. The one he touched me with. I feel a pang. Why, I don’t know.

* * *

The place where the sky is kept.

It is a deep, thundering sanctuary. A monument of pride and power. A guardian that stands over all inside. Thrums of older things drip from the stones and stain the floors. It remembers what it means to survive.

Grass. Trees. Flowers and herbs. Even birds. A courtyard of life, a sanctuary. The Mothers bow their heads here.

Adaar walks in his silver scales, guiding me to follow. I do, but my feet barely touch the ground. Literally. The air is light here and I feel I could float away. But Adaar holds his hand out to me, and I hold it. He has the power to be anything, and he chooses to be a leader.

“This is our garden,” He says to me. “I like to come out here when I need some time away from things. Maybe it’ll help you settle in?”

I wander with him, and I breathe the fresh scent of elfroot and lotus. I feel a steadiness in my heart, and my feet touch my shadow again.

He smiles. “There we go. Feeling better?”

I nod, smile. “You... ‘re kind...”

“I only want to help. Now...”

There’s a man waiting for us in the stone gazebo. Elf. A wolf’s jaw bone. Beads. He steps forward as Adaar and I approach, nods to him.

“This is Solas. He travels through the Fade often and might be able to help you figure out what your purpose is.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Solas smiles just enough at him, then turns to me. “You must be feeling quite shaken after the encounter in the Hinterlands. Are you well?”

“I suppose I have questions.” I blink, then. Rapidly.

“Of course.” He loosely clasps his hands, and takes a seat at the empty chessboard. Adaar joins him.

I have to hold my head. “Ah... S-sorry... words, don’t... like me...”

Solas nods, patient. “Spoken language can be difficult for many spirits upon crossing the Veil. It is only natural to struggle. Try not to be discouraged by it.”

“Your face... is...” I point to my own and try rubbing lines over it. I don’t know the words.

“Free of the vallaslin, yes. I am not Dalish.”

“No... you’re not...”

There’s something about this elf called Pride. Around him, is... peace. Tranquility. Stillness. Quiet. Desertion. Loneliness. Isolation. Completely clear of all things. That is not natural. Is it even possible? It shouldn’t be.

I cannot hear his song.

“Are you well, my friend?” He furrows his sharp brow in genuine concern. “Do you require more time to adjust?”

“No... no...” I still have to hold my head, but I’m determined to know why it feels like this. I move forward and hold out my hand to him. “May I...?”

“Oh, this is interesting,” Adaar says With a light point, and adjusts in his seat. “They can hear this music, and if you touch their hand you can hear it, too. It worked with Cole.”

“Really!” Solas brightens. “That is a very unique gift. I am interested to see, or I suppose hear, this for myself. I rather enjoy the timeless musics of empires long past.”

Yes. I want to hear his musics. I want to see why it hides from me. Why the Fade feels different around him.

He touches me, and

**_HHHHHHHHHHH_ **

~~HHH~~

_Stone like sinew and cartilage, cracked, snaggled, split like dried cuts. Too densed to die properly. They should have stayed, but the fear and anger were too strong. Now she comes too, through the_

~~bodies~~

_HHHHHHHHH_

_**H-H-H-H-H-HHHHH-H** _

Silence.

I am in the grass, shaking and curled, wailing and whispering and wanting for Cole. Safety. It hurts, it hurts, the smell of blood chokes me and I want it to stop. My chest is going to tear itself open! Things feel trapped inside me and they want to get out!

“What’s happening!?”

“I don’t know!”

Tendons tugging tight, my fingers curl inward like slimy grubs seeking refuge in themselves. They won’t loosen, nothing loosens... I can’t control my arms and I’m afraid...

I’m...

slipping away...

* * *

Calm.

Soft light of morning.

A pillow.

“I’m glad they didn’t kill you.”

Cole

“Solas tried to stop the pain, the screams so loud they were silent. He couldn’t see what you saw. Neither can I. I thought that was bad, but now I think, maybe it’s different with other spirits.”

His hand is on mine.

“I don’t know how to help. I can’t see your pain. It’s darker, buried deep like bodies. I’m sorry.”

I hold his hand.

“Mmh? Oh. You’re back.”

“... Did I, leave?”

“You were asleep. I didn’t know we could sleep.”

“I didn’t know... either. Where... did I g-go... not the Fade.”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t follow.”

“Did I h-hurt anyone?”

“No. I would not have let that happen.”

“Good. Yes... yes. Thank you.”

“What did you feel? You screamed a lot.”

“Pain. Anger. Something... something far away... I couldn’t see, or- or feel, or touch. Like memories.”

“But you don’t remember.”

“I... no. I don’t.”

“Don’t be ashamed.”

“Why am I, though?”

“The memories might still be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs quoted/referenced:  
> “Run like a Rebel” by The Score  
> “Run Boy, Run” by Woodkid  
> “4AM” by Bastille  
> “Born For This” by The Score  
> “The Last Stand” by Sabaton  
> “Castle” by Halsey  
> “Suddenly I See” by KT Tunstall  
> “Anchor” by Bastille  
> “Battle Without Honor Or Humanity” by Tomoyasu Hotei  
> “Ready Aim Fire” by Imagine Dragons  
> “Ladies and Gentlemen” by Saliva  
> “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t forget to leave concrit if you’d be interested in seeing this continued! Because I genuinely don’t know if I want to if no one likes it.


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